DisneyLOTF Musical Oneshots
by PinkyKupkake
Summary: The title pretty much says it all. I'm not even sure, we just really like Disney, LOTF, musicals, and oneshots, so what could be more fun than to mix them all together? Writing this with my best friend, TheLuckiestOne1. Hope you like it :)
1. Chapter 1

Jack walked away from Ralph fuming. How dare he be so uptight? Jack was just trying to have fun, and all Ralph could think about was that stupid fire.  
Ralph and his bunch were big babies anyhow. But they were big enough to think they were the leaders of the island.  
When Jack had finally arrived to his group, he threw his hands up, frustrated. "Who does Ralph think he is?! That moron's arguing with the wrong guy. No one says 'no' to fun - or to Jack!"  
"Darn right," Roger laughed.  
"Dismissed! Rejected! Yelled at! It's more than I can bear."  
"More boar?"

**me**: "What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced!"  
"Who, you? Never! Jack, you've got to pull yourself together!"

Roger began singing. "Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Jack, looking so down in the dumps. Every guy here'd love to be you, Jack. Even when taking your lumps."

"There's no boy in the choir as admired as you - you're everyone's favorite guy! Everyone's awed and inspired by you, and it's not very hard to see whyyyyy..." Roger looked to the boys, snapping for them to join.  
"Nooo oooone's slick as Jack is  
No one's quick as Jack is  
No one's spear's as incredibly sharp as Jack's is!"  
"For there's no one who can sing a C sharp! Perfect, a pure paragooon," Roger continued.

No one's been like Jack has  
A king pin like Jack is!"  
"No one's hair is as red and as wild as Jack's is!" Roger shouted.  
Jack was suddenly inspired to join. "As a specimen, yes I'm intimidaaating!"  
"My, what a guy that Jack iiiiiiis!"

The boys all started belting as loudly as they could. "Give five huurahs! Give twelve hip-hips!"  
"Jack is the best and the rest is all drips!" Roger sang.  
Then they all joined together again, jauntily moving their hands while holding bits of meat. "Noooooo ooooooone fights like Jack does  
Douses lights like Jack does  
On a hunting day no one gets out that spike like Jack does!"

The highest voices joined in. "For there's no one as burly or brawny!"  
"As you see, I've got biceps to spare," Jack laughed, flexing his muscles.

"Not a bit of him's scragly or scrawny!" Roger cheered.  
"That's right!" Jack shouted. "And every last inch of me's covered in hair!"  
"That's not true!" A littlun whimpered to the side. Roger knocked him over and continued singing.

"No one hits like Jack does  
Matches wits like Jack does!  
"In a spitting match nobody spits like Jack does!"  
"I'm especially good at expectorating," Jack boasted, spitting out to the ocean (which was a good distance away).  
"Ten points for old Jack!" the others cheered.  
Jack, now full of confidence and energy, began singing. "When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large! And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a barge!"  
"Bu-but..." the same littlun complained. "You aren't!"  
Roger knocked him over once again.

"No one hunts like Jack does  
Gets those hogs like Jack does!"

"Then goes around with the pig's head on a stick like Jack does!" Roger shouted with glee.  
"I'll use pigs' heads in all my decoooraaating!"

"Say it again! Who's a man among men? And then say it once more! Who's the hero next door?"  
"Who's a super success? Don't you know? Can't you guess? Ask his fangirls and all of his tribeeeee!"

**A/N: There we go. Hope you liked it! We're totally willing to take song requests, if anyone has something they'd like to see. Review please! Thank you for reading! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Nose: Ahh, alright. Here's our next chapter. Sorry it's been a little while. Hope you love it. Again, we're open to song requests. Thanks for reading!**

Roger could barely stay still as he and the others were being put on the plane. It was all over - they were going home - but, oh, what a wonderful time he had! The burning, the violence, the madness - it was all fantastic! He felt so excited that he could sing. But he couldn't. Or could he? He looked over to Jack, who sat to his left. All Jack seemed to do was look out of the window. Roger wondered if there was something worth seeing out from where he sat.  
And there was. He saw the island, burning down right before his very eyes, nearly blinding him. Now he knew he had to do something. He shook Jack.  
"What do you-"  
"Look outside."  
"That's all I've been doing."  
"Look outside again." And, as the other boy looked over. "I can show you the world - shining, shimmering, splendid-"  
"Roger-"

"Tell me princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?"  
"Well, just the other day, actually. I was-"  
Roger interrupted. "I can open your eyes, take you wonder by wonder! Over, sideways, and under on a magic carpet ride."  
"This isn't a magic carpet."  
"A WHOLE NEW WORLD!"

"A NEW FANTASTIC POINT OF VIEEEW! No one to tell us to no, or where to go, or say we're only dreaming!"  
Suddenly Jack stood up and sang an octave higher. "A WHOLE NEEEEW WOOOORLD! A dazzling place I never knew! But when I'm way up here, it's crystal clear, that now I'm in a whole new world with yoooouuu!"  
"Now I'm in a whole new world with you," Roger confirmed.

"Unbelievable sights!" Jack sang. A bird suddenly flew by the plane and screamed. "Indescribable feeeeeeling! Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling, through an endless diamond sky!"

He took a breath in before continuing. "A WHOLE NEW WOOOOOOORRLLLD!"  
"Don't you dare close your eyes," Roger sang.  
"A HUNDRED THOUSAND THINGS TO SEEEE!"  
"Hold your breath, it gets better!"  
"I'M LIKE A SHOOOOOTING STAAAAR, I'VE COME SOOOO FAAAR! I CAN'T GO BACK TO WHERE I USED TO BEEE!"

"A whole new worldddd!" Roger sang.  
"Every turn a surprise!" Jack sang over him.  
"With new horizons to pursue!"  
"Every moment red-letter!" The boys sang, overlapping.

"I'll chase them anywheeere!" they suddenly sang together. "There's time to spare! Let me share this whole new world with youuu!"  
"A whole new world!" Roger sang, with Jack soon overlapping him. "That's where we'll be!" Then he sang alone. "A thrilling chase!"  
"A wondrous plaaaace," Jack sang behind him.  
And - for the final time - they went back together in a perfect harmony. "For you and meeeeeeeeeeee..."

The two boys turned around to find that the entire plane was staring at them.

"Jack," one of the choir boys said suddenly. "How come your voice sounds so high?"  
Jack never spoke again for the rest of the flight.


	3. Chapter 3

**Yay, another song! We had talked about doing this one, and when we saw a request for it, we knew we had to try it out. Hope it lives up to your expectations. We're open to more requests and will try to get to as many as we can :D Thank you for reading and reviewing! **

Roger awkwardly tossed a stone spear at a pig. His aim was off, and he missed.  
"Roger! How do you expect us to survive if you can't even kill a pig?" Jack scolded, picking up the spear. Jack examined the sharpened piece of stone, and looked around for the rest of his choir. Some members sat drawing pictures in the sand, while others were swimming. A few were tying pieces of grass together and making necklaces out of them.

"I don't know," Roger responded, reaching for his spear. "I thought you were going to teac-"  
"Well," Jack began suddenly, "you've all got a lot to learn." With that, he snatched the spear from Roger's hands and masterfully threw it far away. A squeal sounded out from afar.  
"Let's get down to business - get ourselves some meat!" he began to sing forcefully, storming toward the rest of the group. "Did they send off babies, only there to get beat?!" He pulled a grass necklace from one of the younger boys and ripped it apart.

"That was mine-" the littlun began to protest.  
"You're the saddest bunch I've ever met," Jack continued to sing over the protesting squeals of some of the smaller boys. "But you can bet, before we're through!" He grabbed Roger and pulled him close. "Mister, I'll make a man out of you!" Roger squirmed and Jack pushed him to the ground.  
"Tranquil as a forest," Jack began, turned towards the island's green depths, "but on fire within. Once you find your center-" He threw spears that - somehow - perfectly landed into the hands of all the boys behind him. "You are sure to win!"  
Roger took this as his chance. Spotting another pig, he charged forward, but tripped on a rock and landed right in front of Jack.  
"You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot," the leader continued, "and you haven't got a clue. Somehow I'll make a man out of you!"

Jack poked at all the boys with a large stick, lining them up and forcing them to stand up straight.  
"I'm never gonna catch my breath!" Simon sputtered.  
"Say good-bye to those who knew me!" Maurice sang.  
"Boy, was I a fool in school  
for cutting gym!" Bill shook his head.  
"This guy's got 'em  
scared to death!" whimpered a littlun watching from the bushes.  
"Hope he doesn't see right through me!" Roger sang in a very high-pitched voice.

"Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!" shrieked Harold as he tripped over himself and rolled into the shallow waves of the water.  
"Be a MAN!" the whole group shouted anyway.  
"We must be swift as the coursing river!" Jack sang, the boys repeating their line behind him as they slowly began to grasp the concept of hunting.  
"With all the force of a great typhoon! With all the strength of a raging fire," he sang, glancing at the sun before gesuring at the daytime moon. "Mysterious as the dark side of the MOOOOOOOON!"  
"But it's sunny-" a littlun began.  
Jack swiftly knocked him over and then pulled him back up again. He then made a grand key change.  
"Time is racing toward us! 'Till the pigs all die! Heed my every order, and you might survive!" Roger threw a stick at a pig that was lurking in the bushes and missed once again. Jack stalked up to him, glaring.  
"You're unsuited for the rage of war," he sang. "So pack up, go home, you're through."  
"Actually, I would love to go home-" Roger was interrupted by Jack singing once again.  
"How could I make a man out of you?"  
"BE A MAN!" Roger and the others shouted suddenly - and, suddenly, he wasn't so discouraged anymore.  
"We must be swift as the coursing river," Jack urged. Roger held the spear in his trembling hands, but charged forward anyway. "With all the force of a great typhoon!" he sang, and the other boy continued to move.  
"With all the strength of a raging fire!" He set his sights on one more pig, and released it from his hands, looking away. When he turned towards it again, he realized that he had finally succeeded. "Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!"  
Jack patted Roger on the back as the rest of the choir started on their chorus line once again. "Be a man!"  
"We must be swift as the coursing river!" Jack sang, aiming his stick towards Roger, and swung to attempt to hit him. Roger grabbed the stick, twisted it, and freed it from Jack's grasp and into his own, singing back to Jack.  
"With all the force of a great typhoon!"  
Jack smiled with pride as Roger swung the stick at him.  
"With all the strength of a raging fire!" Jack shouted back, ripping the spear skillfully from Roger's hands. Then he threw it - almost cinematically - into the air. The two stepped back. "Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!" And the stick landed perfectly between the two boys, its blunt end pointing toward the sky.  
The boys were silent for a long time. "Okay, question," a littlun said suddenly. "How come Roger's voice sounded like a girl?"  
Roger never spoke again for the rest of the day, and wondered if he would hear that question asked again - to anyone - in the future.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Okay, we took another request for this one! Big shoutout and thank you to Speed of Darkness for this idea. Hope you enjoy! **

Jack reluctantly trudged toward the beach when he heard the conch shell bellow. He rolled his eyes at the sight of Ralph standing in front of the group of boys that had gathered. How dare Ralph steal the spotlight? Ralph didn't deserve to be chief. He wasn't as smart or as strong as Jack was - not at all. But, somehow, the boys all thought he was a good match. Well, he'd make sure that didn't last.  
"Listen up, boys. You've got to stop letting the fire go out. We can't-" Ralph was interrupted by Jack. "Fire, fire, fire! Is that all you can talk about? I'll give you something better to talk about when I'M chief." he shoved Ralph out of the way and started singing. "I'm gonna be a mighty chief, so Ralph better beware!"  
"I've never seen a chief from choir, or one with such red hair," Ralph responded, smirking. "I'm gonna be the main event, like no one was before, I'm brushing up on looking down, I'm working on my-" He mimicked the sound of the conch, making a "whroar" sound.  
"Thus far, you really ought to leave leave," Ralph snapped. But Jack leapt in front of him, striking a pose. "Oh, I just can't wait to be chief!"  
"You've got rather a long way to go, Jack, if you think-" Ralph was interrupted once again by Jack singing.  
"No one sayin' do this!"  
"No one saying be there!" Roger sang in a very high pitched voice.  
"No one saying stop that!" Jack continued.  
"No one saying see heeeeeerrrreee!" Roger sang again in the same strange, high pitched voice.  
"Free to run around all day!" Jack happily skipped down the beach. "Free to do it all my waaaaaay!"  
"I think it's time that you and I arranged a heart-to-heart!" Ralph screamed, chasing him.  
"Chiefs don't need advice from little conch-freaks for a staaaaart!" Roger yelled, jumping in Ralph's face. "If this is where our boys are headed," Ralph began, "count me out! Out of service, out of this island, I wouldn't hang about! This choir kid is getting wildly out of WIIIIIIIIIING!"  
"Oh I just can't wait to be CHIEFFFFFF!" Jack shrieked, grabbing a sharp stick and running wildly back and forth.  
"Everybody look left!" Jack sang. The entire choir ran to the left and trampled Ralph.  
"Everybody look right!" Roger joined in. The choir now ran to the left, trampling Ralph once again. "Everywhere you look I'm standing in the spotlight!" Jack happily exclaimed.  
"Not yet!" Ralph screamed.  
Suddenly, all the boys joined together, lifting Jack and Roger in the air.  
"Let every boy go for broke and sing! Let's hear it in the choir and from Piggy! It's gonna be Chief Jack's finest fliiiiiiiiing!"  
"Oh, I just can't wait to be chiiiiiiiiieeeeef!" Jack shouted triumphantly.  
"Oh, he just can't wait to be chieeeeeeef!" Roger added in his high-pitched voice.  
They joined together, harmonizing. "Oh I just can't waiiiiiiiiiiiiiit to be chief!" The boys all finished with jazz hands.  
The boys suddenly dropped Jack and Roger, and they fell right on their faces.  
"Sorry, but no," Ralph laughed. As the two dusted themselves off, they heard a voice in the distance yelp, "WHY DOES ROGER SOUND LIKE A GIRL?"


End file.
